It must have looked almost cinematic in that scripted, awkward, back-and-forth that I had this morning with a nice looking=guy about my age. We both turned about the same time, I was leaving the coffee stand and he was throwing away a stir straw. We smiled, made our apologies, tried to step aside, realized we were still in the other’s way, smiled again, and walked around; on with our day. This interaction made me think of the “eclectic” encounters that start crushes, dating, or just plain obsession. I often wonder if it is a fictitious desire that keeps the romantic at heart paying to see this on the big screen, reading novels, and looking for it at every turn. This question must stem from the fact that I have not had that moment. Sure, I can appreciate the fact that a man is handsome or attractive in some fashion. I have done a double-take once or twice when seeing a fantastic-looking person. I have had school-age crushes and wished that he would check the box next to “Yes, I like you.” Just never that “Wow, I can’t live without this stranger in my life” feeling at crossing paths with another.
I have had those charged feeling of attraction when I am connecting with someone. When I am laughing at their good humor, listening to their explanation of something with intelligence and confidence, or witnessing their sincere concern for you or someone close and then I feel the magnetic pull towards that person. This raises a few questions in my mind. Am I too practical and is that personality trait limiting my perception of this exciting feeling? Do other people even really feel this? Will I ever have that weak-in-the-knees, can’t eat, can’t sleep feeling for that initial meeting of someone? (I have felt that way on losing someone that I dearly love, but never a stranger. ) It sounds like infatuation to me and does not sound like a way to build a relationship and life together… back to being cynically practical I guess.
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